It's been a month since I've entered #selfemployedlife -- it feels both longer and shorter, as reflecting on the passage of time always does. My intention was to start writing here on Day 1, but, as I've learned over these past 4 weeks, my days don't always go as planned. For someone who likes routine and schedule, having only a few structured activities every day and the other 5-6 working hours to fill as I choose has been a big adjustment.
But the freedom feels just as good as I hoped it would, and I'm enjoying being able to devote my days to things that light me up and give me energy. I go to bed feeling fulfilled and wake up excited to get going.
I've noticed that my yoga classes have taken on a specific focus this month -- lots of time spent in Crescent lunges, Warrior variations, heart openers, and forward folds. While I felt a little stuck in this pattern, I realized that my emotions were showing up on my mat. My favorite phrase to describe this month has been "feeling a little untethered," so it's no surprise that I've been seeking out grounding poses, trying to open that vulnerable space, and bowing inward with reverence to myself and my choices. Of course. That's how this works. How could I make a big change and not expect it affect my creative spirit?
I also spent close to 40 hours in a yoga hammock this month, learning to teach Air Flow and getting used to flying and floating upside down. The first night of training was intense: coming off of a week of complete vacation (no jobs were waiting for Brian or me back at home -- we were totally free) with no real idea of what to expect when I landed into this new routine, I felt really unsettled with my feet off of the ground. I was already in a state of free-fall, and pulling myself higher up physically jarred something emotionally. I felt broken and overwhelmed.
But now, after those 40 hours, I've gotten my footing and my wings. I'm coming out of the need to grip the ground and feel comfortable in this new freedom -- both in the hammock and in my life.
A big part of Air Flow is tapping in to your proprioception, or the ability to feel where your body is in space. It requires a connection to the physical body and a trust in the hammock and yourself. It feels like the perfect symbol for moving out of my "untethered" phase and into the next: confidence in a new space. I can do this. I'm supported by myself, my goals, inspiration, and ambition, my husband, and the community that allows me to do what I love. I can connect to the present in every moment, realize where I am, and just be there -- just be here, exactly where I need to be.
Stay present, friends.